My colleagues at work see me as an expert when it comes to love. Lol!!! What can I say? I have had my fair share of ‘love’ but this does not make me an expert. In-fact I’m still a learner! Don’t let me bore you with tales of my union with love; I actually just want to rant about this thing called Love!

Loveeeeeeeee…arrrrgh. This is a very vague word, Smh. You are not alone, even I the supposed love expert has confused love with a lot of things. If Love is a person, he probably would have sued us all for Love Abuse. However, a lot of things come to mind when I hear the word love: things like feelings, friendship, passion, romance, affection, appreciation, emotion, and of course Lust. Although, love is beautiful or at least we think it is. There is something Tony Kushner said, that sums up what I think- Love is the world’s infinite mutability; lies , hatred, murder even , are all knit up in it; it is the inevitable blossoming of its opposites, a magnificent rose faintly smelling of blood- Tony Kushner

Growing up in a family of five, I have seen different shades of love. My dad taught us what love meant from the bible and also showed it to us through his actions. He would buy us gifts and goodies and as children, and oh the naïve mind of a child, I thought this was all there was to love. My mum’s lessons on love was to share, so as siblings in the house, we learnt to share practically everything; from bags to shoes and even cloths. I carried this notion with me into my early relationships (friendships and romance), always sharing, always giving, but never receiving ! My friends would call me all sorts of names ranging from fool to “omo baba olowo” (rich man’s child). I always convinced myself that I was doing the right thing, until I was cheated on, dumped and left ALONE.

After a while, I decided to mend my broken heart with super glue and cello tape (LOL), I decided to give love another chance. This was when I met her, a lovely, beautiful young Igbo girl. She was everything I needed and always wanted in a friend. She had the same ideas of sharing and of giving. She made me understand that I was no fool after all. I bonded so quickly with her and it has been an amazing friendship. We shared things, we talked, we kept personal secrets but ended up spilling them to each other, we fought, we made up, we fought again, and we made up again. She made me believe in love again.

I’m not sure I fully understand what love is, but I think I know what love isn’t. Love isn’t selfish, and love isn’t blind. Love isn’t just that giddy feeling that makes your heart go ‘gish-gish’ when you see that man, or the emotions that comes pouring like a waterfall when he does something nice for you. I really don’t know what love is, honestly I don’t, but from experience, I know love is much more than all this.

Its valentine’s day today, make sure you don’t get swamped up in emotions, passion and feelings all in the name of this thing called ‘Love’. Do not be deceived. Be wise and smart. Love has more to offer.