Why Most Relationships Fail

No individual knows absolutely everything when it comes to love. It’s hard to know what your partner wants and expects from you. Couples are constantly fighting over anything nowadays; you have to possibly deal with things like, “who were you talking to on the phone”, “why didn’t you call me since morning”, “who left the kitchen light on?”, or “I am sick of you leaving your clothes on the bed!”

Are we really bothered by these little things? Or is there something else fueling these actions?

Relationships don’t just end abruptly. They end up after a long time of negligence and indifference. So here are some reasons why most relationships fail and how you can bulletproof your relationship.

#1. Broken communication

To illustrate broken communication between partners

Communication is the key to a healthy relationship and you have to find a balance — you shouldn’t overdo it, nor should you be a ghost partner. The constant “are you all right, where are you, what are you doing?” texts and Whatsapp chats can weigh down your partner.

According to Kristin Davin, a New York therapist; “If one person always wants to know what the other is doing, thinking and how they feel about the relationship, the other person feels tremendous pressure. It’s a killjoy.”

Also, how do you expect your significant other to know what’s happening if there is no dialogue? To have a healthy relationship, this is by far the most important key. When we don’t know what is going on, we can’t pretend to be content with each other and this is why we must find balance in communication in our relationship. Communicate, talk about things like nature, a new movie, a new trend. Check up on your partner but don’t overdo it.

#2. Money arguments

money argument between a couple

In any relationship, money matters. A study in 2013 showed that couples who quarrel frequently over money regardless of their income were at a higher risk of getting separated. A disparity in spending ideology can trigger frustration and big disagreements in a relationship, said Lynn Zakeri, a couple psychologist in Skokie, Illinois.

“Compromising capacity is important, but it’s more than that sometimes,” she said. “In order to gain a genuine understanding, you have to think about things from the point of view of your partner.”

It helps to be financially strong before getting romantically involved with a partner. Romance without finance will most likely end in annoyance.

#3. Not Being Able to Compromise

couple playing chess together

 

This is not to suggest that for the sake of a relationship, one must cheat on one’s own values and personality but find the fine line to walk with each other. Compromise is about giving up something to find a point of agreement with your partner. You and your partner will have a different approach, perspective, and expectation at some stage in your relationship.

Either of you must agree at this point and find common ground. From sex to hobbies and from life goals to friends, you have to constantly learn the needs of your partner and lend your support. When you’re in a relationship, you’ll have to do things you don’t want to do. Go to a wedding that sounds pretty miserable to attend, or watch a TV show you’d never watch alone. Like everything in life, it is hard work to be in a relationship. We need to put a lot of time, effort and trust in it. We need to communicate and be reasonable, it’s a pretty tricky task, but what’s life without healthy relationships?

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Olaoye Oluwatimilehin,
Social Media Manager at Epower.ng